I talk to the press all the time, especially to 'zines and webmags that
focus on sex and culture. These are links and reprints from some
run by daniel, a 26 year old vegan web geek who lives above a garage
in sydney, australia, with his beat-up powerbook and acute
lack of fashion sense. But that only begins to hint at the hip
individual sensibility on the site -- especially the interview corner.
Q& A's are conducted by a... how did Daniel describe it?...
sex-crazed transsexual monkey, or something or the kind.
22/02/03: carol queen, on sex and sexology.
oh honey, i'm so glad you're here, because i may have fainted from hot
overload; your store has just so many toys! and when i called for a doctor,
i had no idea they'd send you to my rescue!
they tell me you're a sexologist, and i just have to know: what's it
all about, sweetie?
a sexologist is an academic who specializes in the study of sex. this
could be from a research point of view, wearing a white lab coat and
prodding interesting places; or from a theoretical point of view (the
brain is our largest sex organ, after all); or they could focus on
teaching. some are also called "clinical sexologists," and
they are essentially sex therapists who work with people who are troubled
about their sex lives.
i'm a cultural
sexologist, which means that i specialize in looking at the ways sex
interact. (my background is in sociology,
so that's a pretty natural progression.) i write and teach, plus i serve
as the staff sexologist at good vibrations, the worker-owned, women-owned
sex company in san francisco. i write a q&a column for our website,
help with staff sexuality education (we want to be able to talk to pretty
much anyone about pretty much anything), and answer questions from the
press. more about my own work is available on www.carolqueen.com.
sweetie, that sounds divine; i bet you've done a lot of hands-on field
research! oooh, i'd love to be your little guinea pig! can you tell
me how hot, hot loving has changed over the last decade?
the 1990's was a pretty good decade for sexuality in many ways, in the
us at least. people got tired of the great conservatism of the reagan
years and began to deal with the cultural panic about aids. in san
francisco there was a flowering of 'zines devoted to sex, the fetish
scene began to really come into its own, safer sex options abounded
even for group sex. outside the subcultures, frank sex discussion became
more common on tv and in the popular press. and then, of course, there
was bill clinton -- the right wing tried to make him a poster boy for
sexual libertinism, but in fact he was more like a poster boy for the
need for sexual forthrightness and honesty.
the underside of all this is that more available sex talk doesn't necessarily
get correct information to people, and our public sex education here
is just awful. the web, too, has upped the ante on sexual conversation
and depiction -- sometimes in very positive ways and sometimes not. and
so many advances seem to be made in the hiv treatment arena that not
everyone is as devoted to safer sex as they were ten years ago -- which
is a true problem. a mixed bag, all in all, but in my opinion more open
discourse is almost always better than less.
oooh, the way you said open discource gave me the warm fuzzies; i'm feeling
faint again! but sweetie, why is sex still such a taboo? everyone's
well, there you are. sex sells, of course, and the media will use it
as such -- to sell product, to draw attention. people are sexually
curious, often sexually hungry, and the media discourse at first glance
seems to normalize sexuality (and to some degree it truly does). however,
we've had a rather long history in which open sexual discourse -- and
especially "deviant" discourse -- has been considered quite
unacceptable, especially for the average citizens. and when you begin
digging around in people's sexual history and experience you often
see how different people really are; the world hasn't fully come to
terms with dealing in difference, and the pressure to be a "normal" person
sexually (instead of a happy, healthy person, whatever your sexuality
is) remains very strong.
now i have known quite a few boys who are happy to enjoy a little bit
of pressure, if you know what i mean!
now sweetie, i'm feeling much better, but i just can't leave the store
without buying at least one toy, and there really are so many to choose
from! won't you tell this poor monkey your own personal favourite?
you can bend over and whisper in my ear, if you like!
i have a very soft spot for the hitachi magic wand vibrator, a very good-quality,
powerful electric massager that's good for much more than shoulders.
however, it plugs into the wall current, so people without us electrical
systems might have trouble getting the most out of it.
a close second is the adorable little battery vibrator with hello kitty
on it! small, pretty strong, and too cute for words. in that category
also is a vibrator shaped like a little yellow rubber duck (it's called
the i rub my duckie, and it's also available in black for all you hipsters)
-- waterproof, floats, vibrates!
i think it's a big plus when your sex toys can amuse you. in this uncertain
world, we need all the help we can get!